Disclaimer: this is a place of learning, safety, and hope. Take what you want from the post and forget the rest. Maybe this will help you. Maybe it won’t.
I am a perpetually messy person. The more I try to clean, the more mess I make. It’s almost like the mess feels safer than clean spaces – sometimes. But not always. And then I expend more effort into cleaning up only to find the mess back again days or weeks later.
So I think to myself, how can I possibly be responsible for another living being if I am a perpetual mess with stuff everywhere? Can a messy person be responsible for a pet and keep things clean enough for everyone?
Or are my triggers getting in the way again? Maybe both?
But that’s my goal for this year: adopt a cat and become a pet parent.
So now that I’ve committed to doing this, I’ve been researching the cost for a basic set up – all the items I need in the house BEFORE the cat arrives – like litter boxes/scoops, litter, box liners, food/water bowls, bed, scratching posts & toys, mess cleaner, and storage. The carrier and food I can get at the same time as the cat – adoption center on my list has an in-house store.
But then I worry how old should the cat be? What about my garden? Not all the plants are cat friendly.
And then I visit the adoption website and start applying for cats – the new COVID guidelines are strict and require filling out an online questionnaire first. Then receiving a phone call for the next interview. If I’m not #1 and do not answer the first time, they move on to the next person on the list…
Yet again I ask myself, when will be the RIGHT time if not now? Will there ever be a RIGHT time?
But the idea of a cat at home brings out all my warm and fuzzy feelings…intuition says YES now is the right time.
Because if I can join an inclusion and diversity council at work, have video meetings with new-to-me coworkers, talk politely to customer service people on the phone after LONG wait times, and work on a business when the flashbacks are peaking, I can handle a cat too. Right?
Well, I hope so. I don’t want to be doing so much that I exhaust myself. But at the same time, I want to have meaningful downtime. And that’s not happening right now.
“Ants in your pants” is the phrase that applies to me. Some parts of me are revved while the other parts are dragging themselves.
How do you know when you’re ready to integrate a big change? Or do you not know and just go for it?
That’s my quandary right now, so not much available in the way of strategies and advice this week. But if you’re interested in some aromatherapy or tea recipes, check out my other blog here.
thanks for reading.