Confession:

I hate August (the month) and what it makes me feel/remember/think/relive

Epiphanies:

• Someone once told me (or maybe I read it in different self-help books??) that sometimes people who criticize or complain about my character flaws are actually complaining about ones they have but can’t or won’t admit to having.
• Especially people who feel less confident or are insecure and want to make the other individual feel worse to feel better about themselves – I learned this is true during my vacation home.
• What turned me around most about people’s negative comments is that they have a grain of truth in them.  Before I started recovery and therapy to express myself instead of parroting my parents’ and caregivers’ beliefs, I acted that way toward other people.
• It’s okay to love family from a distance.  Send cards, email, text messages, or voice mail messages on holidays and birthdays.  Maybe a phone call once in a while.  And (rarely) an in-person visit when in the same geographical area.  That keeps the family happy and allows me to maintain my sanity.
• The people who cause me the most pain and discomfort can be my best teachers as long as I have someone I trust to help me reflect and process the experiences.

Transition:

• A new home, a real home
• Cooking and baking
• A new therapist until my other one comes back from maternity leave
• A new intern Chinese medicine practitioner
• A new exercise regimen (trauma sensitive yoga)
• A different hygiene routine

Conclusion

Sit back and enjoy the ride.  Try not to take anything too seriously.  Use the Back to Basics strategies.  Try not to let backlash take over.  Remember I am safe and happy in my new space.  Accept that my family and I will never be able to spend time together comfortably.  We are too different.

Thanks for reading