The past few months have helped me realize that sometimes experiences become benchmarks.  And benchmarks become anniversaries.  Not all anniversaries are bad ones.

These are some of the good ones I feel grateful to remember and want to share:

• 22 years of keeping secrets and choosing not to address rumors about my sexual orientation that got me ignored, bullied, harassed, etc. by “friends”, family, class mates, teachers, and community members
• 20 years since one rapist got me pregnant and then forced an abortion
• 18 years of celibacy by choice – I chose not to have sex or sexual relations until a time came when I changed my mind
• 13 years into recovery and in the “live” phase instead of “crisis” phase
• 12 years since I learned about posttraumatic stress disorder and trauma therapy
• 10.5 years working at the same job
• 10 years since I started choosing my own medical and mental health providers
• 5 years since I walked away from my family and started to take my life back
• 5 years since I learned that the “voices” in my head were real (DID) and not my imagination making me crazy
• 3 years since I legally changed my name and started to feel safe in all parts of my life
• 8 months since I reconnected with safe family members
• 8 months since I moved out of state and started fresh
• 6 months until I turn 35 years old – 14 years beyond what I assumed by expected life term

Sometimes it takes a look backwards to remember all of the good that happened in spite of the bad.  I feel grateful for the opportunity to remember and celebrate these benchmarks this week.

Thanks for reading