Anniversaries: Substituting Memories

In the United States, today is Thanksgiving.  Tomorrow is the infamous Black Friday.

The last few years, my alters and I have worked to substitute difficult memories of this holiday with better ones.  Create new experiences and new emotions to link with this time of year.

To that end, we have re-framed what Thanksgiving means to us.  Here are the highlights of then and now:

  1. It’s ok to spend this holiday alone instead of among “friends and family”.
    1. If you have DID like us, then maybe you aren’t really spending it alone.  We are spending Thanksgiving with our favorite loved ones in a safe space and creating memories together.
  2. It’s ok to NOT stuff yourself full of food or cook a big fancy meal with traditional dishes
    1. We made rice congee and bought ingredients to make linguine with clam sauce tomorrow.
  3. It’s ok to NOT watch the Macy’s Day parade or sports of any kind.
    1. I watched the latest episodes of my favorite TV shows online and some Scooby Doo cartoons with my alters
  4. It’s okay to be active instead of lazy.  We had some work to do to meet deadlines.  And some plans to keep us busy and distracted.
    1. Work brings pleasure, feelings of success and confidence, and grounding in the present time
    2. The other activities remind us that we are in control of our choices
  5. When the memories get bad, it’s ok to stop and rest
    1. I used to think sleeping through the holiday was bad.
    2. Many of us used to think that not remembering what we did was worse than sleeping
    3. This year, we made the conscious choice to take naps when the emotional overload hit instead of trying to power through it.
    4. Those naps revitalized us and helped us feel accomplished because we remembered to practice good self care on a stressful and scary day
  6. It’s ok not to go out and interact with others when we feel out of sorts.
    1. This one is self-explanatory

We are thankful to be alive, thriving instead of surviving, and able to help others  in many small ways.

We are thankful for our support network, our job, and this blogging community too.

Most important, we wish for our readers to enjoy some measure of peace and safety during the anniversaries.

2 thoughts on “Anniversaries: Substituting Memories

    • Sorry it’s taken me so long to write back. I’ve been sleeping a lot and working when not sleeping. thank you for the good wishes and hope you are taking care as well.


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