Pip is retired. She wants to stay retired and find a way to integrate with everyone else. i.e. participate in co-conscious awareness with our host and everyone else in the real world.
Angora enjoys working and taking classes online. She’s starting to get more comfortable talking with people in the outside world too. But not interested in being a host full time.
Some of the younger alters are growing up. They’re trying to decide if they want to maintain separate identities or merge with others and fade away.
The teen alters are growing up and making changes too.
What we all thought was the worst possible decision now seems like a possible option if we all want to live in the same present reality together.
I hoped moving across the country would stop the evening jaunts to potentially dangerous experiences. Pip was so excited about finally having down time and a safe place to heal all of our physical injuries. Angora looked forward to dancing and listening to music again. Everyone else couldn’t wait to create a real home.
And yet, that past followed us here. Only now has Pip shared that she had to come out of retirement during our first year in the new city. The ones who recognized us from before and their friends here tried to cause trouble. They tested and challenged us until we proved that retirement didn’t mean vulnerable. That none of us had any interest in resuming the other work here.
Then, in our new building, both Pip and Angora along with a few of the males came out to protect our neighbors and our building. This time was more and less than people from the past. It was people who witnessed what happened the first year and caused trouble as neighbors. It was local homeless people and addicts making noise at night and disturbing us. It was neighbors with young children worried about the impact of these night disturbances.
So one last time, Pip came out to try and make it stop. None of the neighbors got hurt. Not in our building or the others nearby. None of the innocent or uninvolved got hurt either. But now the building doesn’t smell like pot. The homeless people and partiers make less noise at night.
Maybe this time they’ll all believe in our communal retirement. And understand that retirement DOES NOT equal going soft or being unable to protect ourselves.
But at least it explains how so many of the younger people in this neighborhood recognize me and look at me with mixed expressions of dislike, hate, disdain, horror, fear, or anxiety. And why the host doesn’t always recognize or remember them. On the plus side: defending ourselves, protecting neighbors and the building without harming them, finally earned some trust. Now the neighbors are respectful and polite, sometimes nice too.
And the amnesia that comes with a switch happens less often. We’re looking forward to a day when all of us can work and move together as a united person in mind, body, and spirit. When our body becomes fully adult instead of going back and forth between pre- and post-adolescence, it will go through normal female stuff instead of stopping or changing under stress.
Until that happens, the moments of fear and confusion when speaking with people will continue. Maybe, though, this time around people will accept that part of us instead of shunning us. And maybe we can stop feeling shame about not recognizing and remembering people who greet us.
Thanks for reading.