ADMIN: Social Media, site updates and other stuff FAQ

Disclaimer: this is a place of learning, safety, and hope. Take what you want from the post and forget the rest. Maybe this will help you. Maybe it won’t.

Social Media Presence

Scared, but determined to play

That owl hiding in the bush? That’s me when it comes to social media. I usually get scared and turn away, hide, or freeze once the bullying and harassment start. Then I delete all my accounts for a while. Maybe I will sign up again under a different name, but maybe not.

But life changes as we all do. And right now feels like a good time to explore and experiment with social media again.

Lost Connections & New Connections

And to answer some people about reactions to my posts here, at Scent Reflections, and on LinkedIn about racism:

Yes I did lose about 10 connections on LinkedIn and some followers here too. Not sure who they are or how many for this blog, but I accept that this place is not for everyone. And not everyone on a professional site like LinkedIn will want to associate with someone as public with their life challenges as I am there too.

One Price of Being Authentically Me

It’s one price I pay to be authentically me. And if you wonder about pronouns, I use a variety of them depending on who I talk to:

Family, friends, & day job: she/her Because I am predominantly a she/her. And I was born female. I like and appreciate being female even though I accept and value my masculine and non-binary parts too. But being a she/her is a lot easier for my family and long-term people to understand and accept.

Here, Scent Reflections, and medical/mental health: they/them, she/her, and he/him Because some of my alters identify as “she”, others identify as “he”, and the rest prefer “they”. It’s not something I ever really considered until I reflected on everything going on right now. But it makes sense.

Hiding in Plain Sight? Not anymore (:

As I shared over the past few months, Untangled Connections is now part of my business Scent Reflections LLC. There are links in the menu bar that will bring you to Scent Reflections if you want to connect with me by email or make a donation to help support Untangled Connections.

However, you can also use the new social menu at the top of every page to connect with me. I have links to Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter on there.

Facebook: This page gets automatic posts every time I post new content from the Untangled Connections and Scent Reflections blogs. Sometimes I also share photos and news from other sources.

Regular photos and updates will start (I hope) next month once the social calendar gets completed and I have interesting photos and graphics to share. Graphics being quotes and affirmations from different authors and myself.

Find me using @ScentReflectionsLLC

Instagram: Does not get automatic posts from the blog and currently does not have any content yet. Still working on graphics and photos to share here. Plus a regular posting schedule.

Photos are difficult for me to create and share. Whether they are photos I took with a camera or graphics made using design tools, they take time, money and energy. Most of my photos are taken for the business, so if you want to see garden photos, food/cooking photos, and aromatherapy/blending and creation photos, check this out.

Find me using @scentreflections

Twitter: I shared a post last week about Twitter. You can follow or not, but now all posts published here and on the Scent Reflections blog will appear on Twitter too. You might or might not also find Instagram photos on there, but not sure yet. This social media venue was requested by guest comments and will be removed if no one decides to follow the channel.

For now, I am willing to try and make it work. But I also recognize and accept that many guests who write in asking about Twitter and how to donate to this site could be spam bots instead of actual people. So I am giving all of them and myself the benefit of the doubt with this social experiment.

Find me using @untangledconne1

Pinterest: you can find links to my Pinterest page in the resources section of this website. I haven’t moved everything over to the business page yet so those links still work. Like with the rest of social media, this is an experiment. The channels with the most follows/likes, etc. will stay. The others will slowly fade away after a year or so.

Site Updates

Please review the blog rules. As much as I want to reply to every comment, I can’t do that anymore. It takes way too much time.

Premium Content Features

I’ve decided to add Premium Content features to some posts beginning October 2020. Not sure which posts will get this tag, but if you can’t access it for free, that’s because the post requests a small purchase fee to view. As much as I’d like to keep all the content here free (as in no cost and no copyright penalties), I can’t justify doing that anymore.

Hopefully, the 2 month’s advance notice will help you ease into this new idea.

RSS Feed & Subscriptions

I tried to get a subscription email going through Survey Monkey, but it didn’t work. For now, please use the subscribe options on the sidebar.

If you decide to subscribe by email, your information is safe and confidential. I will not sell your information or use it for marketing purposes without your written permission.

Final Update: I will still be posting once a week, but that day may change due to scheduling changes in my personal and other work calendar. But don’t worry. My alters and I (pronouns used: I/we and she/they and her/theirs) enjoy posting here too much to stop all together.

Other Stuff

Spelling & Grammar Complaints

I feel strange sharing this, but it feels like a blogging milestone. I laughed when the guest comments started telling me that my spelling and grammar need improvement because the errors distract them from reading my posts.

Why laugh? Because I never thought the writing on this blog and website would reach the level of popularity where guests felt comfortable to comment on structure, grammar, syntax, spelling, etc. Then tell me that they will continue to read posts even though the errors annoy them.

And the laughter? It’s not at my guests’ comments. It’s at me and my reaction to their comments – flattered and happy instead of upset and hurt.

Cyber Bullies & Spam? Or genuine comments?

Odd maybe, but the only times I’ve ever seen comments like that are in the comments section of popular writers and authors. They each have their own way of dealing with such comments, but I prefer to acknowledge these guests and show acceptance of different points of view.

Maybe these guests are spammers and cyber bullies. Maybe they are genuine people expressing their opinions. I can’t tell because all comments go to the spam folder. Then I spend hours reading through the comments and publishing the ones that read like they are from real people.

No Response & Comment Not Published

And if I ignore your comment or don’t publish it the first time, it’s probably because many other people asked that question and I considered it spam. Please check the FAQ posts for answers to many of those questions.

Technical Difficulties

I am not tech savvy and depend on WordPress’s customer support to help with technical issues. Thank you all for commenting on them and sharing info with me, but I probably will not be acknowledging any of them for a while.

Why? Because I get the same comments from different guest names even after I put up a post with answers and updates a few days later.

Contact Forms & Communication

Same thing goes for connecting and communicating with guests outside of this blog. If you comment on a post, I will try to respond. If you comment here, I will try to respond. But if you ask me to write back to you personally or share a website, etc. I cannot do that through the WordPress comments. Your identities and mine are protected.

If you really want to reach me, you can use the comment form (connect with me by email) or any of the social media outlets posted above.

Thanks for reading.

I like being me...whoever that is

Resources: Author Round Up – mishmash of genres & media

Disclaimer: Resource Posts provide information and links to the organization sharing information with guests here. I DO NOT promote, advertise, or receive any benefit/compensation for sharing the information and links.
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

*The authors and many links below are from Amazon.com and a Kindle Unlimited subscription that feeds my reading/book addiction. You are welcome to visit and find other ways to source any of the authors’ creations if Amazon and Kindle Unlimited are not your preference*

LGBTQ Books

Of the many new authors I’ve explored, these two have the most compelling stories that send me looking to their websites and social media account for more information. While all the series are LGBTQ friendly, some have LGBTQ main characters in the different books.

  • BR Kingsolver (author website) writes fantasy with some science fiction, mystery, and romance elements in many of her series:
    • Rosie O’Grady’s Bar and Grill – I am currently reading the newest title in this series about a young woman who was sold as a child to a magical organization and trained as a spy. She thought she worked for people who worked to help others and save the world until her last assignment showed the truth. The first book starts with the woman’s life after she leaves the organization.
    • Chameleon Assassin – The bisexual main character was born with mutations that give her traits of a chameleon while also looking human in a world that values scientific enhancements and while shunning others. Her personal relationships and work relationships add unique challenges and perspective to the plot of each book in the series. Can be dark and triggering
    • Dark Streets – A combination of magic and science with the main characters traveling to different realms to fight against enemies trying to take over or destroy earth in some way. Female main character whose supporting cast has a variety of people and relationships. More humor and lightness in this series
    • Telepathic Clans Saga (finished) – I’ll be honest with you; I couldn’t read this series without feeling triggered. In fact, I skipped one of the books because it hit many sore points. But if you like reading about succubi, open sexual relationships, and magical warring clans in an alternate earth, maybe it’s for you.
    • Found in Kindle Unlimited on Amazon general search
  • Dana Marie Bell (author website) writes paranormal romance with fantasy elements and great world-building for each series. She has so many series that I am only including the two series with LGBTQ main characters in the books.
    • The Gray Court series is based on fae mythology. The main characters in the third book are a woman and two men who become bonded mates in a triad relationship as they struggle to keep their loved ones and their way of life safe from “normal humans” and unknown enemies.
    • The True Destiny series is based on Norse mythology and explores relationships among the pantheon of gods and goddesses living as mortals with limited power and some memory loss. No one knows exactly who are friends or enemies – not even within family units. The different main characters find one or two life partners as they unravel the mysteries of their past and avoid enemies trying to kill them. The books I read have m/m or m/m/f main character relationships. Newer entries might have f/f or f/f/m relationships too.
    • This series is not part of Kindle Unlimited, but you can find a book list with free samples here

Self-Help or Inspiration Books

I have two books for this section. One you might have seen before on another list. The other is one of my favorite inspirational authors.

  • The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and Douglas Abrams
    • If you look on my Pinterest page, you will find the Dalai Lama included in my board of favorite coping resource books. He has inspired me and provided hope almost since the beginning of this journey.
    • The book discusses what joy means to both spiritual leaders from a religious and secular perspective and invites the readers to learn with them as they explore what joy means and how to achieve it in the modern world
    • Books like this are sometimes difficult for me to read, so I listen to them and similar topics as audiobooks and podcasts and am currently listening to the unabridged version from the library.
  • Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World by David J. Epstein
    • For many years I struggled with being a work failure in my family because I lost interest in job opportunities and changed careers/classes/direction all the time. I wasn’t “good” at any specific skill set and kept changing majors and career directions throughout my 20s. I started and stopped many graduate school and certificate programs for many reasons and had trouble defining what I wanted to do in life.
    • My dreams were dismissed because being a freelance writer or author is unreliable and difficult to succeed in. And other interests like alternative medicine were hippy-dippy hobbies, not careers.
    • Plus, how could I run a business or work in a company when I dressed poorly, couldn’t do math well, and wasn’t logical or able to commit to a career path?
    • If you experience similar questions or struggles, maybe this book will help you the way it helped me: by exploring and sharing stories about different successful people who specialized from an early age and others who explored for many years before specializing in one or more areas and becoming successful

Hobbies and Other Interests

As you know, I’ve been on partial sabbatical to focus on life outside my computer. It’s my life/life balance or Self Care as I work hard to provide relevant, high quality content here. To keep the topics relevant, I have to take classes, apply the lessons in practical ways, and ensure time for everything else in life.

So I decided to share some blogs, books, and other resources you might find interesting if you write, blog, are interested in self care, own a business, are starting a business or a blog or a website, or like to explore because you’re a curious person too.

Aromatherapy, Herbs, and Self Care

  • Aromahead Institute blog learn about essential oils and get interesting DIY recipes
  • AromaCulture magazine’s podcast – interviews with practicing aromatherapists, herbalists, and other practitioners about current research and events related to herbs and essential oils
  • CommonWealth Center for Holistic Herbalism Blog and Podcast – Herbs as food and medicine are a lifelong interest. The blog and podcast discuss herbs, sharesDIY recipes, and offer educational resources to learn more about plants

Content Creation for blogs, websites, etc.

  • Adobe Spark blog has tutorials and free templates people can download and share to create content (my go to for creating images)
  • PicJumbo.com – get free stock photos plus information about related topics
  • LinkedIn Learning – this is normally a paid subscription, but I get it free through my other job. If you’re wondering where I learn the tech skills that make this site unique, a lot of it is from the LinkedIn Learning classes. They are partnered with Lynda.com, so if you are a Lynda.com member there may be a way to get access to LinkedIn Learning through that account

Thanks for reading.

Resources: Maryville University Supports Veterans Earning College, Graduate, and Post-Graduate Degrees

Disclaimer: this is a place of learning, safety, and hope. Take what you want from the post and forget the rest. Maybe this will help you. Maybe it won’t.

Disclaimer: Resource Posts provide information and links to the organization sharing information with guests here. I DO NOT promote, advertise, or receive any benefit/compensation for sharing the information and links.

Short Sabbatical Break; Extra Post this month

My partial sabbatical is going well so far. I’ve been concentrating on family stuff and the paid job. Aromatherapy certification requirements are on hold. Herb classes online work as a TV alternative and fun hobby to relax and learn something interesting after work. So does creating aromatherapy blends.

I continue to brainstorm new ideas for Untangled Connections and figure out where it’s headed in 2020. My plan was to write a post on Halloween since it is an Anniversary I never shared much about here in the past.

But then I got an email from an outreach coordinator at Maryville University’s Online college program about 1.5 weeks ago asking me:

  1. Am I still updating Untangled Connections?
  2. Would I add their article about Veterans, PTSD, and higher education to my Resources page if I was still updating the site?
  3. This article can help Veterans and people working with Veterans succeed in college and other higher education pursuits.
  4. Our University also offers other resources and support for veterans and active duty soldiers who want to enroll in college or graduate school

At first, I didn’t know what to say. This would be a big opportunity for me, but also triggering, in many ways. Talking with my counselor helped, and so I decided to share this resource with you. All of the links go back to Maryville University

In Support of Maryville University’s Active Work with Veterans and Active Duty Soldiers

I work with Maryville University, a nationally recognized private institution offering comprehensive and innovative education.

Our health guides aim to spread awareness on various mental conditions and break the stigma surrounding them. Seeing your page, I thought our guide would be a great addition to it. You can review it below:

https://online.maryville.edu/online-bachelors-degrees/psychology/understanding-a-veteran-with-ptsd/

This resource provides valuable information that your audience may find helpful.

Maryville University Outreach Coordinator

When this email appeared, my first thoughts were:

  • I’m not qualified to write about this
  • Wow, this is a first – a higher education institute requesting to be added here – exciting and scary
  • But I really want to share this resource here and help guests who are part of the military or military families.
  • How can I do justice to this topic and this resource?

Then I reached out to the coordinator (forgot to ask permission to include this person’s name here) and explained the reason for a delayed response (sabbatical) and my process for adding a resource. If this process was acceptable, I’d do the research and publish the post on the next Sunday (today).

Also, was there anything else the coordinator wanted to share with my guests? Answer below

Maryville’s Understanding a Veteran with PTSD guide aims to spread awareness on our heroes’ off-field worst nemesis: PTSD. The guide contains information on how we can understand their situation more and how to help them get through the situation as well.

Maryville University Outreach Coordinator

In Support of Veterans and Active Duty Soldiers

As you know, I am not a veteran and have never been part of the US Military or a government employee. I do not claim to know anything about being a soldier or what it’s like to serve the US or any country in this capacity.

My time as a soldier was for the paramilitary branch of a human trafficking organization disguised as a cult. The leaders were predominantly pedophiles who trained kids they got tired of as child soldiers instead of killing or throwing them away. It wasn’t voluntary, but it taught me how to survive.

Since then, I’ve had the privilege to know and learn from many veterans and soldiers. One of my favorite uncles was a Navy veteran who shared his love of cooking with me growing up. Many of my mentors at the paid job are veterans too. Finally, some of my TCM or acupuncture providers at the teaching clinic have been veterans.

Choices, Experiences, Trauma

One topic that often comes up in our conversations is perspective about trauma and PTSD. They can acknowledge my experiences as traumatic easily, but have difficulty applying the word “traumatic” to some of their military experiences.

One person told me it’s because soldiers choose the military life and what it entails to follow orders from command. Sometimes those orders include actions they would not otherwise commit outside of military life. Therefore, they were not really traumatized or victims of trauma.

In some ways, I can agree with that. But not in other ways. Because not all trauma survivors are victims or victimized. Many are. But not everyone.

Plus, he and other soldiers or veterans may have chosen their career paths – chosen to follow orders – but they did not choose to be traumatized by the experiences of being a soldier. They chose to follow orders, not to commit acts that would scar them in so many ways.

I believe this because I experienced it. What many people don’t realize (and I hardly ever share anywhere or with anyone) is that I chose to go back to the scary other life in college. I chose to be part of that world for many years because it felt safer and more secure than exploring the unknown other world.

It wasn’t until I got the permanent, paying job and learned how to function in the “legitimate” “normal” world with friends and peers that I decided to leave the other world behind.

So yes, like the soldiers and veterans, I chose to go back to that familiar world and be an active part of traumatic experiences that only reinforced childhood lessons for many years even though I had many opportunities to leave.

Was I a victim because I chose to go back to that world? I don’t know.

Does serving in the military make soldiers and veterans victims of trauma? I don’t know.

It’s a matter of perspective to be honest. Not just how the world views us, but also how we view ourselves

Helping Ourselves by Helping Each Other

If you or anyone you know may find this information beneficial, please share it how ever you choose.

Thanks for reading

Life Quirks & Resources: Knowledgeable? or Expert?

Why two categories?

This post shares as star about my not wanting to be an “expert” and a resource link to one of my favorites podcasts about herbalism. This husband and wife team work together to educate and inform people about herbalism as a business and a lifestyle through their podcast. They also teach classes (online and in person) and run clinics in their neighborhood.

I found them through an aromatherapy podcast interview and found their perspective about herbalism and community refreshing. But most important, I really loved their podcasts about “how to not be a guru” and “smoking herbs”. Both of those podcasts resonated with me, my values, and my future career choices so much that I wrote to them and asked to share their podcasts here with you.

Why don’t you want to be considered an expert?

Simple. I do not consider myself and expert on this topic or any topic to be honest. Yes, I am smart. Yes I am knowledgeable about the topics here and others too.

But I don’t have all the answers. My methods will not work for everyone. What I share here is not meant to be diagnosis, treatment, or solutions to problems. I am not going to ever, on purpose, tell you what to do or how to do it. I offer options and information that can turn into education, knowledge, or self-study through my guests curiosity.

There are many people with more knowledge, wisdom, experience, and expertise than me out in the world with the credentials to provide diagnosis, treatment, solutions, etc. These people are the experts who can tell you what to do.

I am one of few people who are willing to openly discuss topics like this. Unfortunately, not many others are willing to do the same. That will change some day.

The questions are:

  • Who are they?
  • Where do we find them?
  • Will these people share knowledge?
  • And what do we look for?

But for now, it’s up to us to be honest and authentic in sharing our experiences in a safe and positive way that helps us and others heal.

AlterXpressions

Make sense?

Who is the husband and wife herbalist team you mentioned above?

*I am not being paid or compensated in any way to promote CommonWealth Center for Holistic Herbalism here*

The CommonWealth Center for Holistic Herbalism is owned and run by Katja Swift and Ryn Midura. They call themselves holistic herbalists and educators on the podcast and use the audio platform to share their knowledge and experiences about how herbs can be used in every day life.

With all transparency, I will also tell you that I hope to take their online and in person classes in the future. Learning herbalism has been a long-time dream and exchanging email with Katja has only increased my excitement. Now to find the time and money….

First Podcast share is: How to Not Be A Guru

This relates to my “rant” about being an expert.

podcast link in case WordPress does not let me share the audio directly

Second Podcast share is: Herbal Smoking Blends & Herbs To Quit Smoking

This relates to coping strategies and coping challenges I and guests here on the blog have with regards to smoking

podcast link in case WordPress does not let me share the audio directly

Maybe this will help you; maybe it won’t. But I hope you give them a chance if you are interested in learning more about how herbs can help you.

As for me, maybe the first podcast will help you understand why I prefer not to be considered an expert with all the answers. It’s almost like putting me on a pedestal – something I don’t like and wrote about here – and feels really uncomfortable because I have been put on pedestals and then knocked down hard with my reputation and livelihood in tatters.

Never would I want that for an of my guests to feel that way about me here. Nor do I want to make others feel that way on purpose. It’s not a fun or good experience in any way.

So if you are looking for an expert to give you all the answers, this is not the place for you.

If you are looking for a place to ask questions and get honest answers (including “I don’t know”), welcome to the site and explore at your own pace.

Thanks for reading

Write to me on to the Contact & Connect form.

Resources: RehabCenter.net

https://www.rehabcenter.net/inpatient-rehab-centers/

*Caveat 1 – I do not receive compensation for writing Resource Posts and am not promoting any of the services or products on this website*

*Caveat 2 – This review is for informational purposes only*

One of the employees from DrugRehab.com shared RehabCenter.net as resource referral back in March. I promised to review the information and share the resource here on the blog and add it to the Resources page. You can find the link at the end of the first section in the spreadsheet. I wrote back and promised to feature this resource in a post and add  the website to my resources page by the end of April 2019.

Life got in  the way – final exams, work, a rash that’s finally going away, etc. – so I have not been able to update the Resource page and write this post until today.

Here is what I like about this site:

  • Free 1-800 number with a promise of confidentiality to anyone who calls looking for help
  • A directory with multiple treatment centers in all 50 states
  • Supportive, compassionate (from their site) professionals willing to help callers find a treatment center and/or program tailored to their specific circumstances – within reason
  • States on their home page: “most insurances accepted” with the logos of many common medical insurance providers displayed in the same section
  • Well organized, easy to navigate website and menu
  • Articles and links to information about specific topics: treatment programs/organizations; drug addiction (types, etc.), alcohol treatment  (types, etc.), resources, and contact information
  • Discusses and provides information about how addiction affects physical, emotional, and spiritual health and how to address those effects
  • Provides information about the connection between addiction and mental health issues and offers assistance with mental health issues too

If you want to learn more about RehabCenter.net, please visit their About Us page.

If you want to learn more about DrugRehab.com, you can find my here and here.

If you have a resource referral you’d like to share, please fill out this contact form.

Thanks for reading.