Recovery: Slowing Down & Self Care

Short post today.

I am recovering from a week of panic attacks and flashbacks today, so have not got much to write about.  After this post, I plan on sleeping some more to get ready for Monday’s work, etc.

In other news, I continue to slow down my life to focus on what feels meaningful and important while letting go of what doesn’t with joy and grace.  But more on that later.

Finally, apologies to anyone whose blogs I follow for not being an active commenter.  I am following your progress and cheering you on from the sidelines (aka as a lurker) even though I can’t keep up with all of your updates.  I’ve been on an Internet cleanse on and off for the past few months – only checking in with school, work, and existing author sites on my “read” list – to understand my anger and frustration towards technology.

Social media, in general, is not something I am comfortable with no matter how hard I try to learn and feel safe using it.  If not for the fact that I need some kind of presence to exist for work and this blog, I’d shun it all together and live happily with phone/text, email, and letter-writing.

So please keep me on your lists.  I am following, reading/viewing your updates, and cheering you on from the sidelines.  But I will never be active and seldom will comment. It’s just not who I am or how I choose to live my life.  If I do have something to share, I will comment or use the comment box to send an email thorough your website/blog.

Thanks for reading.

Recovery: Blog Break – Spiritual Quest – Back 4 Sundays from today

Dear Guests,

I hope you are enjoying summer or winter (depending on where you live).

A lot has changed in the last few weeks.  More change is coming up faster than I want to think about.

The last two years have open-end up whole new worlds (not quoting Disney’s Aladdin here – no t on purpose) and opportunities.

I’ve met some incredible people and discovered other ways of thinking/consciousness that provide different kinds of insight into my current struggles.

But it wasn’t until the anger left that I realized I was on a spiritual journey.

A spiritual journey is different for every person.  It’s not the same as recovery or a recovery journey.  I could be a healing journey, but not all healing journeys are spiritual.

The memories coming back now remind me of how lucky I was to grow up in religious and spiritual diversity even if that education came with a steep price.

Judeo-Christian religions taught me about community, love, and sacrifice.

The Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (aka Mormons) taught me the value of volunteer work and cooperation.

Buddhism taught me about compassion and walking the middle path to see through illusions and reduce personal suffering.

Wicca taught me to understand, accept, trust in, and appreciate my connection with the natural world.

Daoism taught me about qi and provided me a path back into my body so that I could start living in the present instead of the past.

All of these different religious and spiritual practices are teaching me other lessons and opening up other paths to explore.

But underneath it all, what I learned and value most from all of these religions and spiritual practices is that they all have one theme in common: UNCONDITIONAL, UNIVERSAL LOVE.

That LOVE is expressed and taught in different ways, but it exists in all of the practices listed above.

Not sure what will happen next, but now is a time for me to be patient and observed.  So, I will catch up with you all Four Sundays from today.

Thanks for reading.

AlterXpressions

Recovery: Dad, family, letters = closure

Short post today.  I don’t have a lot to write about and too many ideas percolating.

Last Thursday, I hand wrote 3 letters and put them in the mailbox for Friday pick up.

  • One letter to my Dad
  • One letter to family I talked to last December
  • One letter to the rest of my mother’s family

Handwritten letters felt more authentic and right than computer printed letters.  A blue mailbox eliminated the need to provide a return address.

It’s been 3 days since I sent the letters.  Yes, I am still scared.  Yes I am not happy about having to send the letters.  Yes I wish I didn’t have to do any of this.

But our lives are going to mix again in the future.  It’s inevitable since I am close to my paternal grandmother. Going back to visit friends and loved ones increases my chances of running into one of them by accident.

And that’s my closure.  I wrote to them; gave them a means to connect if they want it; and kept myself safe so that this life can keep growing and changing.

What does closure mean to you?

Thanks for reading.

Recovery: 14 Lessons Learned

My recovery started in 2014, a couple months before college graduation.  Since then, I’ve been blessed with many mentors and guides along the journey. Here are 14 (of many) lessons Recovery has taught me: People everywhere sometimes say one thing, believe something else, and act on their beliefs more than their words. Self-awareness in our […]

Recovery: Life Lessons from Taking the Mask Off

Often I am asked about how I went from being a psychiatric patient and homeless drug addict to being a registered nurse and a supervisor at some of these facilities. While there is no magical answer to that question, there certainly have been some valuable life lessons learned along the way. These are 10 of the life lessons I have learned over time, which allowed me to continue on this journey.

via 10 Life Lessons I Learned as a Psychiatric Nurse- and Patient — takingthemaskoff