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The Quote

“Love you can spend like currency isn’t really love.”

From The Winter Long by Seanan McGuire

So what is love?

Not just romantic love, but LOVE in all of its forms.

I don’t know how to describe the feeling.  But I do know that real love is:

  • Unconditional
  • Universal
  • Freely given
  • Freely received

Anything else is a parody, or worse a lie.

Why share the quote?

It’s a good reminder (for me at least) that love and approval are different.

Love can exist without respect and trust, but not without acceptance or compassion.

Yesterday this quote helped me maintain perspective when flashbacks of my family and former friends hit hard.  Maybe it will help you too.

Thanks for reading.

Mother’s day brings up a lot of flashbacks and bad memories for me.  I can’t celebrate it, and even have a difficult time thinking of or remembering positive mother figures in my life.  And I can’t think of anything special or interesting to write for this post.

Instead, I’m going to change it up this year.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL OF THE GUESTS WHO ARE MOTHERS AND MOTHER FIGURES!!!

Thanks for reading.

Courage Coaching

There are so many occasions from my own personal experience, where I have witnessed this type of amnesia. In most of these occasions, it was with a parent.

Narcissistic selective amnesia is real and extremely damaging.

If you have not heard of this before, then my latest youtube video below, will hopefully help.

When you are in the depths of emotional despair, it can be extremely upsetting dealing with this sort of reaction from the narcissist in your life.

Before you are aware that you are being abused by a narcissist, you are usually blind to the narcissist’s ways of abusing you. You have no idea that you are a dealing with a very harmful individual.

When the narcissist practices selective amnesia in response to something you have pointed out, you feel completely at a loss. The frustration can be infuriating to not feel heard & and to not be understood.

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Hello All

“About” pages are one way I like to learn about different authors.  Simon from PlanetSimon has a great post about why About pages are both useful and important.  I couldn’t find a reblog link on this blogger’s post so am sharing the link here: WordPress: Creating an About Page

If you like science and unique perspectives, please also check out some of the other posts too.

If you want to read why I started this blog, the links are listed below.  But seriously, check out the link above.  It’s got great info and reminded me why About pages are so important.

My about page is buried on the main site (not the blog) and has 2 parts.    The first part, linked above, shares the purpose and goals of the website and blog.  The second part gives some background information about me and why I started this blog.

Mindfulness meditation frustration

Lots of people discuss mindfulness meditation and how beneficial it can be.    But how often are the other meditation styles discussed and used?  As much as we love mindfulness meditation, sometimes it just doesn’t help.  We are not interested in being mindful or grounded in the present. No when we’re struggling with understanding which reality (past/present/flashback/nightmare/daydream) we are in at the moment.

Our goal is to ALL BE IN THE SAME MOMENT AT THE SAME TIME

It’s rather disorienting and confusing for the host not knowing when she is in the outside world.

In moments like this, something hat attracts everyone’s attention and pulls us together helps more than anything else.  What can do that?  A different kind of meditation called visualization sometimes helps us.  Maybe it could be called mindfulness since the focus is on recreating every detail of the object in our mind?  But our visualizations are based on imaginary places, not real ones, and use all of our senses, so not sure either way.

Our preferred visualization is always tree or earth-related.  Something about trees feels especially safe, comforting, and grounding.

But anything can be used for the visualization.

The Visualization practice

We learned a variation of this meditation from the hotline volunteers.  You can do this alone or with a partner or in a group.

In a quiet, safe space
    Sit or lie down in a comfortable position
    Breathe deep and slow – inhale, pause, exhale – 3-4 times
    Close your eyes
    Breathe in for count of 5, then out for count of 5
    Notice the sensations and/or thoughts passing through
    Continue breathing deep and slow

 

Imagine a tree in front of you
Notice the trunk
    What color?
    How old or young?
    How big/small, skinny/thick?
    What shape is the trunk?
    What does the bark look, feel, smell, sound like?
Notice the branches and leaves
    What do you see?  Shapes, sizes, colors, textures..
    What do you hear?
    How do the branches and leaves feel?
    Do the branches and leaves have a scent?  Can you describe it
Notice the ground under the trunk
    Is the ground solid?  muddy?  grassy?  sandy?
    How does it feel, smell, sound?
    What colors?
Imagine you can see under the ground
    What do the roots look like?
    How long or short?
    How thick or thin?
    How strong or weak?
Observe all around the tree
    Is there anyone or anything near by?
    Describe what your observe
Breathe in for a count of 5, pause for a count of 5, then breathe out for a count of 5
Breathe deep and slow – inhale, pause, exhale – 3-4 times
Notice how you feel – stress levels, sensations in your body/mind, feelings you’re experiencing
When ready, open your eyes

We hope this visualization can be a tool in your toolbox to help you when other strategies are less than helpful.

Thanks for reading

Sad N Blue

Effecting coping methods for depression and anxiety

karlaplarraga.wordpress.com/

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My brokenness has led me to utter despair; desiring death even. But in this completely broken state I found the One that cherishes me more than any other.

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800 Recovery Hub Blog

Written by people in recovery for people in recovery

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

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