About this Site

*UPDATE 2018: Thanks to all guests who leave a comment. Almost all comments end up in the Spam folder, so I appreciate your patience and persistence in commenting here. I try to go through the Spam folder at least 1x a week, but sometimes life interferes. If you ever want to reach out directly, please use the contact forms here and here. I do my best to respond within a week*

Mission Statement

This website is dedicated to helping others move out of the dark and into the light.  It is a safe, non-judgmental location where anyone struggling with shame, guilt, fear, or anger can find assistance in learning how to cope with these emotions and related issues.

Some of these resources will help, others not so much.  Please read with a open mind.  Use what works for you.  Ignore the rest until another time.

 

What is the Dark?

The Dark is that secret place inside of you where your fears, shame, guilt, anger and frustration flourish.  It keeps you from feeling confident, standing up for yourself, seizing opportunities and living life on your terms.  The Dark encourages hopelessness insecurity, unhappiness and dissatisfaction with the self.  It stops you from making positive changes, treating yourself and others with respect and compassion, from giving and receiving unconditional love, and from showing your true and vulnerable self to the outside world.

Does this sound familiar?

 

What is the Light?

The Light is that secret place inside of you where hope, innocence, vulnerability, compassion, empathy, kindness, respect, and radical acceptance flourish.  It acts as your conscience, offers support to help you build self confidence, allows you to make connections with others, and is the foundation from which you can live life on your terms.  The Light encourages compassion, vulnerability, authenticity, confidence, and radical acceptance of the self with all of its imperfections.  It encourages you to be yourself, live your values, ask for and accept help, and be non-judgmental of yourself and others.

Is this something you relate to?

 

How about those Shadows (aka the Grey)?

The Dark and the Light exist on a continuum.  In between them, live the Shades of Grey, or the Shadows.  Many individuals live in the Shadows and swing between the extremes depending on experience and circumstance.  For those of you struggling towards the lighter end, the Shadows are a stopover on the journey to your goals in the Light.  For those of you in a different place, the Shadows are a stepping stone deeper into the Dark as your fears, shame, etc. take over your life.  Those are but two examples of the many positions that exist in the Shadows.  Where you are now is not where you have to stay forever.

 

About Me

I am a woman who has lived in the dark of for many years.  By darkness, I mean abuse, domestic violence and the shame attached to both experiences.  Not until 2004, did I even consider another way of life, a life free of shame where my past did not control the present.  The journey to reclaim my life began that year when I made the decision to get outside help.

Thus began my journey into recovery and healing.  Read more

184 thoughts on “About this Site

  1. What’s Going down i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve found It positively helpful and it
    has aided me out loads. I am hoping to give a contribution & help different customers like its helped
    me. Great job.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey there! I know this is kinda off topic however , I’d figured
    I’d ask. Would you be interested in exchanging links or
    maybe guest writing a blog post or vice-versa?
    My blog addresses a lot of the same subjects as yours and
    I think we could greatly benefit from each other. If you happen to be interested feel free to shoot
    me an email. I look forward to hearing from you!
    Awesome blog by the way!

    Like

    • Hello! Thanks for the ask and the comment. Yes, I’m interested. Since people have trouble finding my contact page, I’ll move it after finishing with comments today. Took a peek at your site and love the layout.

      Like

  3. Oh my goodness! Awesome article dude! Thanks, However I am having issues with your RSS.
    I don’t know why I am unable to join it. Is there anybody else
    having similar RSS issues? Anyone who knows the solution can you kindly respond?
    Thanks!!

    Like

  4. I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here.
    The sketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish.
    nonetheless, you command get bought an shakiness over that you wish be delivering the following.
    unwell unquestionably come more formerly again as exactly the same nearly very often inside case you shield this hike.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi,
    I would like to tell you that I’m visiting your
    site for ssome time and you shjare really good info.

    I shared your latest post on tumblr aand ggot a lot of good feedbacks.

    Hope you put new content soon.

    Like

  6. When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and
    now each time a comment is added I get several emails with the same comment.
    Is there any way you can remove me from that
    service? Thanks!

    Like

    • I’m really sorry you are getting those repeat emails and will do my best to find a solution, then post it on the Blog FAQs. If not, there is usually an “unsubscribe” link at the very bottom of the most current email sent to you. Please try using that to remove yourself or change your options.

      From WordPress Support”One moment while I take a look.

      So this is something you’re users need to manage from their WordPress.com account. They can change the notification settings for comments here: https://wordpress.com/me/notifications/comments

      Like

  7. Oh my goodness! Amazing article dude! Thank you so much, However I am going through problems with your RSS.
    I don’t know why I can’t join it. Is there anyone else
    having the same RSS issues? Anyone that knows the solution can you kindly respond?
    Thanks!!

    Like

  8. Wow that was odd. I just wrote an really long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear.

    Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyhow,
    just wanted to say fantastic blog!

    Like

    • Grrr….apologies about the deleted comment that didn’t appear. Gremlins like to visit my site and create chaos sometimes :/. I appreciate the compliment and the extra time fo write a second comment. Thank you!

      Like

  9. Wow, fantastic weblog format! How lengthy have you ever been blogging for?
    you made running a blog look easy. The whole look of your site is magnificent, as
    well as the content material!

    Like

  10. Magnificent ɡoods frⲟm уoս, man. I hɑve understand yⲟur stuff previoᥙs to ɑnd you аre
    juѕt tоo magnificent. I really lіke what you’ve acquired һere, reaⅼly
    like wһat уou aгe stating and the ѡay in whіch yoᥙ saʏ it.
    You make it enjoyable and yߋu stiⅼl tɑke care оf to ҝeep it smart.
    Ι can’t wait to reaⅾ much more from yⲟu. This is reаlly a wonderful website.

    Like

  11. you are reaⅼly а gоod webmaster. Ƭһe web site loading velocity іs incredible.

    It sort of feels tһаt y᧐u’re dοing any unique trick.
    Ιn additiⲟn, The ϲontents aгe masterwork.
    үou’ve performed а magnificent process ߋn thiѕ topic!

    Like

  12. Hi there would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re working
    with? I’m planning to start my own blog in the near future but I’m having a tough time deciding between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.

    The reason I ask is because your design seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something completely unique.

    P.S Apologies for getting off-topic but I had to ask!

    Like

  13. I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good.
    I don’t know who you are but certainly you are going to a famous
    blogger if you are not already 😉 Cheers!

    Like

  14. After I initially left a comment I seem to have clicked the -Notify me
    when new comments are added- checkbox and now whenever a comment is added I receive 4 emails with the exact same comment.
    There has to be an easy method you can remove me from that
    service? Many thanks!

    Like

    • I’m really sorry you are getting those repeat emails and will do my best to find a solution, then post it on the Blog FAQs. If not, there is usually an “unsubscribe” link at the very bottom of the most current email sent to you. Please try using that to remove yourself or change your options.

      From WordPress Support”One moment while I take a look.

      So this is something you’re users need to manage from their WordPress.com account. They can change the notification settings for comments here: https://wordpress.com/me/notifications/comments

      Like

  15. It’s the best time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy.
    I have read this post and if I could I desire to suggest you few interesting things or advice.
    Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article.
    I desire to read more things about it!

    Like

  16. Hi superb website! Does running a blog similar to this
    require a great deal of work? I’ve very little expertise in computer
    programming however I was hoping to start my own blog
    soon. Anyways, should you have any suggestions
    or tips for new blog owners please share. I know this is off topic nevertheless I simply needed
    to ask. Appreciate it!

    Like

    • Hello and thank you. I wrote about this in the FAQ sticky post on the blog home page and in the past. Please use the search function to get your answers. My goal is to share another writing and blogging post next month, so I will make sure to expand on this topic some more at that time.

      Like

    • Hello, Thanks and I appreciate the offer. However, WordPress or my email server (or both) don’t allow me to send email directly to the user from the user’s email address information that gets submitted. https://untangledconnections.com/contact/ is how you can contact me directly. Yes, the blog rules are kind of intimidating; but they help keep the community safe. If you want to write anyways, I’ll do my best to respond in a timely manner.

      Like

  17. Hi, i think that i saw you visited my site thus i came to “return the favor”.I am attempting to find things to enhance my web site!I suppose its ok to use a few
    of your ideas!!

    Like

    • Hello. Not sure what part of my About This Site you want me to write about, but I will add more topics to my list and aim for at least one post about what is shared there on this year’s editorial calendar.

      Like

  18. Definitely believe that which you said. Your favorite justification seemed to
    be on the web the simplest thing to be aware of.

    I say to you, I certainly get irked while people consider worries that they
    just do not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and defined out the whole thing without having side-effects ,
    people can take a signal. Will probably
    be back to get more. Thanks

    Like

    • You’re welcome. And yes, self-awareness changes a lot in terms of perspective. I didn’t have that for the first part of my life and the beginning of my recovery. It made denial easier, but everything else much more difficult. Once I became self-aware, I didn’t want to go back to ignorance no matter how much easier that life was.

      Thanks for the many comments and opinions. All are appreciated.

      Like

  19. Hey would you mind stating which blog platform you’re working with?
    I’m going to start my own blog soon but I’m having a hard time
    selecting between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.
    The reason I ask is because your layout seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something unique.
    P.S Sorry for being off-topic but I had to ask!

    Like

    • Hi, I use WordPress. Started with a free site and upgraded to a paid site last year. Never tried BlogEngine or B2evolution or Drupal. Maybe this will help you decide: read some reviews (Internet search); read the FAQs or ask questions via the customer support links; try out a platform and close the account if you don’t like it. Those are some of my steps for trying out something new. Congratulations and good luck on your blog!

      Like

  20. Wow, incredible blog format! How lengthy have you been running a blog for?

    you make running a blog look easy. The whole look of your site is
    excellent, as well as the content!

    Like

  21. I think everything posted was very reasonable.

    However, what about this? suppose you typed a catchier title?
    I ain’t saying your information isn’t good, but what if you
    added something to possibly grab folk’s attention? I mean About this Site – Untangled Connections
    is kinda vanilla. You ought to look at Yahoo’s home page and note how they create post headlines to grab viewers interested.
    You might try adding a video or a related picture or two to get readers excited about what you’ve written. Just my opinion, it would bring
    your blog a little livelier.

    Like

    • Ah thank you for being honest and sharing your opinions. Catchy titles and visuals are my weak points. I am working to improve both areas and will keep your suggestion to update the “About This Site” title in mind as I work in updates later this year. The related picture is a work-in-progress goal for 2019 and the future too. Right now, I’m looking for a good stock photo source and working out how to add time for photos into my blogging schedule.

      Like

  22. Its such as you learn my thoughts! You appear to grasp
    a lot approximately this, like you wrote the guide
    in it or something. I think that you can do with a few percent to power the message house a bit, however instead of that,
    that is excellent blog. An excellent read. I’ll definitely be back.

    Like

    • Wonderful! I am glad you like the blog and will be coming back 🙂 Thanks for the compliments. Blogging feels right for now. It reaches my target audience and allows me creative options that traditional publishing does not.

      Like

  23. hi!,I love your writing very much! percentage we be in contact
    extra about your post on AOL? I need an expert on this area
    to solve my problem. Maybe that is you! Taking a look ahead to peer you.

    Like

    • Hi! Thanks for the writing compliment. I am not an AOL expert, but I will try to write another or related post about struggling with technology. That is what the “AOL post” is about, and AOL was one of the technologies I struggled to learn and use in college. Don’t use it anymore; haven’t for over 10 years.

      Like

  24. Nice post. I was checking constantly this blog and I’m
    impressed! Extremely useful information specifically the last part 🙂
    I care for such info a lot. I was seeking this certain info for a long time.
    Thank you and best of luck.

    Like

  25. Thanks so much for providing individuals with such a nice opportunity to read articles and blog posts from this site. It can be very nice plus full of a great time for me personally and my office co-workers to search your website at a minimum 3 times in a week to read through the fresh items you have. And of course, I’m so certainly fascinated concerning the exceptional opinions you give. Certain 3 areas in this article are surely the most suitable we have all had.

    Like

  26. Awesome blog! Do you have any recommendations for aspiring writers?
    I’m planning to start my own blog soon but I’m a little lost on everything.
    Would you suggest starting with a free platform like
    Wordpress or go for a paid option? There are so many options out there that I’m
    completely confused .. Any ideas? Many thanks!

    Like

  27. I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right
    here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter
    stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an nervousness over that
    you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably
    come more formerly again since exactly the same nearly very often inside case you shield this hike.

    Like

  28. That is very fascinating, You are an excessively professional blogger.
    I’ve joined your feed and look forward to in the hunt for extra of your wonderful post.

    Also, I’ve shared your web site in my social networks

    Like

  29. Hi there i am kavin, its my first occasion to commenting
    anyplace, when i read this article i thought i could also make comment due to this good paragraph.

    Like

    • Hi. I write here as AlterXpressions as all 88 of the alter personalities in our system contribute to the posts and Resource page articles. Welcome, Kevin, and thanks for commenting.

      Like

    • Thank you! I started learning these techniques in counseling (private & group) and group therapy in partial in-patient programs. Then continued learning on my own through books and videos. Most of the emotion-based coping strategies are based on Dialetical Behavioral Therapy and Cognitive Behavioral therapy.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.