I learned more about one automatic defense mechanism that needs to be addressed or disabled during my vacation.
Switching and sounding like I am talking about myself all the time when all of us in the system feel anxious and safe with a person or group.
And the accompanying feelings of shame, anxiety, panic, guilt, and loss of reality that comes with it.
Two main challenges have previously gotten in the way of disabling this mechanism:
not being able to share about having Dissociative Identity disorder
Alters unwilling to identify themselves when talking to outsiders.
Lack of awareness when this happens so that I can reflect, process in therapy, and use known coping techniques and strategies to change the behavior.
Frustration when people give advice without understanding that I know what the problem is and amnstruggling with how to resolve it. Behavior modification or change for trauma survivors requires a different approach than for “the average person”.
The first one is less of an issue now that I moved and live in a more open culture.
The second one is not so easy to figure out.
And the third one I try to address carefully, but sometimes fall back to negative strategies that work and avoid future communications.
But at least now I have words to describe to my therapist what challenge I want to work on for the present and near future.
thanks for reading.