It’s March again.
The depression and feelings of shame/badness/evil are back. I had a panic attack between yesterday and today. It felt different, but I still had to take the day off to sleep.
The body memory pain lessens with each acupuncture treatment – cupping and body work are helping too. But the other pain – pain that comes from the toxins clogging my face and abdomen – increases.
While I am grateful for the pain (it means the toxins are moving out of my body) the headaches and sinus aches are triggering and distracting. The back pain and abdominal pain feel scary until I burp or fart. Then it feels slightly embarrassing. Also feels triggering.
All I have to do is focus on self care until my next appointment with the counselor. That’s what we agreed on in today’s session. Me take care of myself in the best way possible. Sleep. Cook. Be active, but not too active. Conserve energy. Prioritize goals. Work.
And maybe this time the feelings of being evil, incompetent, stupid, etc. will not win.
Thanks for reading.