My child parts are asking questions about their past memories – thoughts, feelings, experiences. They are sharing information through images, feelings, sounds, smells, & tastes and then asking the rest of us for help. (reality testing, perspective, validation, compassion, support coping strategies)
I’m lucky to work remotely right now. This gives us the opportunity share inner thoughts and support each other even at work. My child parts feel safe and connected at all times, so sharing with us is not a distraction from “acting normal” and “staying safe” outside of home. There is no shame or guilt or fear that comes from caring about the rest of the system and not wanting to be a distraction.
Before, this couldn’t happen because our life was very compartmentalized. Only work at work. Focus on getting home safely before and after work. Then only a few hours at home to decompress, do self-care, rest, sleep, and cope with triggers. Our living situation and general environment wasn’t always safe or didn’t feel safe because of past experiences and present issues with unsafe people.
As we remember, the experiences get processed. The child parts feel safer and more comfortable with themselves and the rest of the system. The shame from sharing information, exposing secrets, asking for help, and letting go of the past changes into self-compassion, acceptance, respect, and improved communication skills. The guilt goes away as each part of me learns to accept the truth: it wasn’t his/her/its fault; none are responsible.
These changes to inner self-talk / self-thoughts are reflected in how I view and interact with the rest of the world. In being able to communicate with myself better, I also learn how to communicate with others in the outside world. I can be more objective and learn from my mistakes easier. My alters can access these thoughts and use the experiences to help them do the same with their memories and experiences.
Then they share what they’ve learned with me. We all benefit by feeling more at ease with ourselves and each other; feeling safe on the inside and outside; reflecting a new sense of self and confidence in social situations; and being less reactive to many exterior triggers.
There is still a lot to work on, but this is a good start.
Thanks for reading